Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Buckle Your Seatbelts...

This evening, I am spending the night at a Hampton Inn... After checking in, I got on the elevator and the door slid closed... As the door closed, a sticker advertisement posted on the door read, "Buckle Your Seatbelt." So far as I could tell, this particular model of vertical transport had no belts - seat or otherwise... In that brief moment before the elevator begins to move, I wondered just how fast an elevator could travel... Not how fast they DO travel, but how fast COULD they travel.... Buckle Your Seatbelt.... Holy crap! I'm on some kind of supersonic elevator... Buckle my seatbelt!? What if I hang on to the rail? Wait, this elevator has NO rails! Does this elevator have a camera? Is someone watching me pretend to freak out about how fast this thing is about to go??

And then, with a slight jolt, I ascend... Not at the speed of light, but a nice, peaceful ride...


So, have you ever wondered what kind of WEIRD things you can find on eBay? How about a few: A "specially-shaped chicken nugget, Hanging chads from the 2000 Florida election, or maybe you need some unique highlighters? Of course, there is always the store dedicated to, er, um, well, you'll have to see for yourself: Special Walking Canes... In the market for a casket? Yeap, just search for 'em... One guy is selling his soul... Okayyy.... Then again, you could try teleporting yourself with this handy gadget... Or perhaps you've fancied yourself a Lord or Lady of a foreign country?? Yeap, become a Lord... Perhaps what you really need are some party favors? How about some keychains? The gift for the person that has everything? I bet they don't have belly button lint!

Okay, I'm done for now... I mean, c'mon, how do you possibly top belly button lint?

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