100 words or less: Mirror Mirror

Every once in a while I enter writing contests. I'm not one of those "gotta win" kinda folks. I just like to throw my stuff in the ring and let other reads the random stuff on my mind.  This flash fiction story didn't win any prizes, but it did generate a bit of a conversation between me and the person I submitted the entry. Basically, she wanted to be absolutely sure it wasn't based on a true story. It isn't, but evidently I write fiction (sometimes) that seems to real to be made up...

Mirror, Mirror by David W Henderson:

As Abby sang “Hakuna Matata,” it darted into the road from the underbrush. Should I swerve? I held my breath. My indecision thrust the vehicle forward. It sat on its haunches and turned toward me. Disappearing from view beneath my hood, it darted leftward. The steering wheel wiggled against a small bump. “Thudathump” echoed from the rocker panel. In the rearview, I saw the small, furry grey squirrel lying in the road – tail raised stiffly in surrender. 

“Did you kill him, Daddy,” my daughter asked from the rear seat as our eyes met in the mirror.

Misinterpretation of "The Stream's Secret"

While working on my Master's degree, I took a class that focused on the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood.  One of Dante Gabriel Rossetti'smost famous poems is "The Stream's Secret."  It is a haunting, romantic tale.  At least, that's how *I* took it.  In fact, I wrote a short-short story based on what I thought was happening in the poem.  Turns out my interpretation received very mixed reviews.  At least it sparked conversation. Note: When this was written, I was still pretty 'young' in my writing development.

A Misinterpretation of "The Stream's Secret" by David W. Henderson (c)2000, 2010

Peter knelt in the long, thick grass along the stream. Intently, he watched the water flow over rocks, under branches, and around a few grassy knolls. He could see the bottom of the stream perfectly. The rocks and pebbles danced along the bed without moving. Light played with the rippling water, animating the inanimate. He tilted his head slightly, his right ear bent ever so carefully toward the bubbling brook. He held his breath. The bubbling, fumbling stream did not speak to him. He sighed deeply and shook his head.

"Did you not see?" Peter asked the stream. "Did you not hear?" he yelled out, clenching his fists at the brook. He stood, his well-pressed trousers now wrinkled and stained green from the grass. He paid no attention to his pants. Slowly, he turned, stretching his arms out in a wide arc to the place that had been behind him.

"She was here," he told no one. Taking two steps away from the stream, he pointed at the ground where he now stood. "She was right here," he repeated loudly. He fell to his knees, slumping over himself until his hair rested on the ground. Tears fell from his eyes onto the grass. His body heaved as he sobbed, still crunched like a child hiding from the seeker. The mucus from his nose dangled toward the ground, swaying with each sob-ridden breath he took. Finally, it broke, landing in a pool beneath his nose.

Suddenly, he slammed one fist into the ground. Absently, we wiped his pressed jacket sleeve across his face, taking with it tears and snot and pain. He stood, ignoring the grass stains on his sleeves where his elbows had rested on the ground. Spinning on one heel, he turned to face the babbling brook once again.

"Why won't you talk to me?" he scorned. He took two steps back toward the stream, brought his leg back and kicked his patent leather shoe at the water. A plume erupted as his foot surfaced from the depths of the stream. Ignoring the soaked sock in his shoe, he kicked at the stream once more. Again, the stream answered with a fountain of water where his foot exited through the surface. Now, the stirred dirt from the bed hid the stones and rocks that were once visible. The stream's flow carried the sediment away from Peter, as it carried Sarah not long ago.

Sarah was beautiful. He long, coppery hair flowed down over her shoulders and covered her breasts. She was exquisite. Her long, cream-colored arms could reach the night sky and pluck out a star. Her shapely, toned legs coulee leap a rainbow and land her in the pot of gold at the end of it. Her satiny smooth skin glistened in the morning dew as she lay in the grass.

Peter turned, looking over his shoulder at the spot where he had been sobbing. "As she lay in the grass," he said aloud. His eyes darkened as he turned his gaze back toward the stream. That horrid stream. That keeper of secrets. His heart pounded in his chest. His breathing had become deep, heavy. He clenched his jaw tight, then spat into the water. "Keeper of secrets," he growled.

His mind flashed - Sarah lay in the grass, nude. He blinked at the stream. Flash - her lover beside her. He stared at a rock on the stream's bed. Flash - her lover slain. Rippling waves cannot break his stare. Flash - his around her throat. His jaw clenched tighter. He dragged her into the stream. His jaw moved, emitting a sharp "pop" as his teeth rubbed against each other. Sarah kicked, squirmed, twisted. Her face plunged into the stream. He wide eyes stared at Peter in disbelief. Her mouth moved, "Peter! Peter!" Her lips formed words, but make no sound. "No! Peter!" Air rushed in and out of her lungs, making bubbles at the surface. The babbling brook became violent at the intrusion. Dirt, rocks and sand all tossed and churned wildly as Sarah splashed in the water.

A small, wry smile crept on Peter's face. He blinked twice then focused his gazed on the spot where Sarah drank her last breath. The smile on Peter's face softened as he pictured her there in the water. The stream bubbled around and passed her. Her face rested above the surface, peaceful and calm. Sarah stared blankly at the stars above. Peter leaned over her and slipped his arms around her. His lips covered her soft, smooth cheeks with tender kisses. He took one hand from behind her back and gently stroked her hair as it waved lazily in the stream. Tenderly, he kissed her lips as softly as a new lover on his wedding night. He gazed into Sarah's lifeless eyes, then closed her eyelids, sealing each with a gentle kiss. Again, he slipped both of his arms around her and embraced her, pulling their two bodies together. After a few moments, he released her. She lingered at first, not wanting to leave her lover. But, finally, the stream urged her along and she relented. She began to move, but stopped suddenly as she planted her feet into the stream's bed.

Peter's eyes widened at the sight of his Sarah's hesitation. His heart raced as the gravity of his mistake comes to his full attention. Sarah was not dead after all! She had stopped to be with him! He smiled - a small, shaky laugh escaped his lips. He stood, meaning to help her out of the water. As he bent over her, she moved away from him. Her feet still seemed planted, but her body drifted away from his reaching arm. The stream continued to push her, helping her along as it turned her body away from his. Her head pointed downstream. Peter's arms dropped to his side and she slumped to the ground beside the stream. Sarah drifted away from him, forever.

---

If you'd like to read the poem, you can find it: http://www.poetryfoundation.org/archive/poem.html?id=174291

Know more than 98% of the population?

I recently read an article that outlined tips for becoming successful, or more specifically for becoming famous.  Many were the run-of-the-mill things like "always be selling" or "concentrate all your efforts for 9-36 months and do NOT give up during the lulls."  Those are the kinds of tidbits you can find in almost any motivational article no matter what it is you are trying to accomplish (in this case, authoring and selling freelance articles while getting famous at it).

One piece of advice in the article (it's an email newsletter, actually) stated that one should "Know or learn more about the topic than 98% of the population."  Seriously?  How does one even gauge such a thing?  On top of that, I would venture that 98% of the population doesn't believe they know something (ANYTHING) more than 98% of the population.

Of course, "the population" is a loose enough term (as is "famous") that this bit of advice almost reads like a horoscope or fortune from a fortune cookie.  I am by no means "famous."  Or am I?  What is "fame" and what do I know that 98% of the people in my circle of "fame" don't?  This is where the words begin to play tricks on you.  In my mind, "famous" is Stephen King, George Lucas, Bill Gates, Vlad Mazek, Ben Henry, Ree Drummond and the likes.  Oh, I know you're thinking, "who are some of those people?"  And that is my point.  The first three are generally uber-famous in American culture.  The next ones are "famous" in certain circles.  Vlad is famous for his knowledge of the Microsoft partnership program and his various back office applications.  Ben is famous in card-collecting circles (namely baseball cards).  Ree is famous for being a city girl who married "the Marlboro Man (as she calls her husband)" and started writing about it.

So, do *they* know more about their respective topics than 98% of the population?  As a whole in the world at large? Maybe, maybe not.  But, what about among those that follow them?  Probably so. 

How does this translate to our everyday world?  First of all, I will be the first to tell anyone that I am a "jack-of-all-trades, master of none."  I know about 2% of any given topic, if that much.  I would guess that many of us feel that way about anything (or maybe everything) we know.  We are the 98% that others know more about a topic than we do.  In a given area.  So, the "trick" (as it were) is to figure out where those percentages are reversed and then figure out how to make the most of those areas.

Do I know more than 98% of the population about blogging? Heck no. Not even in my ever-growing circle of friends, family and acquaintances! Computers (troubleshooting and repair)? Nope.  In my circle, I am probably at the 50/50 mark.  Okay, how about self-publishing?  Maybe, but probably not 98%. Maybe 60-75% at most.  How about self-publishing with Lulu.com?  I'd say yes.  Now, do I know more than 98% of the people in the world about that? No way. One look around the forums on that site, and I quickly find myself in the 98% who ask the questions.  But, among my peers, friends and family?  I'd say 98% is a safe number.  Off the top of my head, I can think of fewer than a handful of folks that have used the service (I hope to convince people to change that though!).

Now, am I "famous" for it? Heck no.  Or at least I don't see myself that way.  The key, though, is to keep at it and to keep learning and sharing what I learn.  Same holds true for anyone in any field.  I think everyone knows something that 98% of the people they talk to, work with, or live with DON'T know, or know very little about.  So, we must find that thing (or those things) we know and then SHARE what we know.

How do we find that thing?  The easy way would be to stop and think about the thing(s) that people ask you about - teaching, gardening, computers, publishing, engines, baseball cards, grant writing, whatever.  Now, once you figure that out (a lot easier said than done for most of us, I think), the next step is to start writing about it.  And *that* is the scary part.  After all, what if another one of the 2% who knows something about your topic finds your posts and points out mistakes!? I have learned what to do when this happens:  Thank them and fix it.

Seriously. That's it. Figure out what you enjoy and what people generally come to you about advice.  Start a blog and begin writing about it.  When someone questions you on something you've written, get the facts and if you need to fix it, then thank the person for pointing it out and fix it.  You'll be amazed at how many people will still read along, and who appreciate your willingness to admit when things aren't right.  I run into that with my Indians baseball card posts all the time.  At first, I was embarrassed and nearly quit posting because I *know* I am not "the expert" about the topic. But, you know what? I am the "expert" of my own love for the team and of my own collection of cards.

What about my writing?  I am not a writing expert by any stretch. I am not a "lulu.com" expert.  I am an expert in my *own* journey as a writer and self-publisher and I can (and do) share that.  I am not an expert in all the technology-related things I know, but I am the expert in *my own* experience with those things.  If I can share my experiences and my insights with someone (anyone) that benefits, then I'm ecstatic.  Am I "famous" for the things I know and share?  I suppose in a way, I am among the folks I know.  And, once you start writing about what you know, you will be too.  Just remember: Fame is fleeting, Never let any kind of fame go to your head, and Fame does not necessarily equal monetary rewards.  Be okay with those, and you'll do fine.

And, if you do start working on building your fame (or just start writing about what you know regarding a particular topic), let me know. I'd like to come along for the ride.  After all, this blog started because I wanted a place to post my notes on the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood and a list of commands for an old Commodore 64 program (Little Computer People). Who knows what'll come up if you start jotting down the things that pop into your own head!

*footnote:  "among the folks I know" is the key phrase.  True "fame" comes when people know who you are whether or not you know them by name.  In the respect of "true fame," I do not even pretend to be famous. INfamous, perhaps.

A novel update - All part of the process

As you may recall, last November I took part in the National Novel Writing Month challenge (write 50,000 words in 30 days).  This helped me move my long-slumbering novel-in-progress from paper weight to actual paper.  Once the contest was over, I took a little time to soak up my self-congratulatory celebration then got back to work.

Getting back to work meant ironing out some of the rough spots, making first-round edits, and turning the thing loose to a couple folks that asked to read and review it (with the added bonus of editing it).  I don't know what the average time it takes for the rewriting and editing process takes for a novel, but I can tell you it is a daunting task.  There is no way I could have done it without the help of the folks that lent a hand!  They'll be named in my acknowledgments once things get to that phase, for sure!

As of today, I have officially "finished" my novel!  I put that in quotes because if I choose to seek out an agent, editor, and go the traditional publishing route, then I am sure they will require that I do some editing.  Then again, maybe not since I've gone through that already.  You just never know how a certain editor will react.

So, now the question that occupies my mind centers on whether I want to seek out an agent or go the self-publishing route like I did with my short story collection.  There are benefits and drawbacks to each route.

Agency means finding someone that I get along with and that really wants to work with me as we develop my writing career.  There might be a lot of time involved, and there is the possibility of a false start or two.  The upside is that if everything works out, it could launch a new chapter in my life.

Self-publishing means I have control of the finished product.  The downsides mainly involve distribution and publicity.  Exposure will be much less in a self-publishing scenario, at least at first.  There have been plenty of authors that have proved very successful going the self-publishing route.  I'm just not necessarily a 'sales guy.'  The novel is in a form that I am happy with. I had a member of my professional learning network on Plurk actually provide the cover art I'd like to use.  The book is essentially print-ready from my perspective.

The first question most people ask is, "What's your book about?"  In a single sentence, I believe this describes it best:

Summer Breaks - After witnessing a horrific car crash in his neighborhood, nine year-old Corey Decker and his friends begin their summer break searching for a "madman" rumored to live in the woods nearby.

I'll let you know which path leads to the published novel!

If you've got any input, I'd like to hear it!  Know an agent that might be interested?  Feel free to pass my info along to them and/or their info on to me.  Have a preference/recommendation as to the agent/self-publishing route, let me know. 

Not the sharpest tack

Have you ever done something stupid that you wished you could take back immediately after you did it? Feel free to share. You may be asking yourself, "Why would anyone share such things in the public forum that is 'The Internet?'" I can't answer that for you, the reader, but for me, writing about my past experiences (both good and bad) helps me remember those things. Why would I want to remember the things probably better forgotten? Think about the stories your parents or grandparents (or aunts and uncles) told you as you were growing up. How many of those stories involved some mishap that later turned the whole incident into something humorous (though may not have been at the time it happened)?

Fine, so write them down, sure, but why share them with the world? Because when we can laugh at ourselves, or learn from our own mistakes, we find others that may have done similar things. We may also find a memory that we can then turn into a short story or a full-on novel if we really get going.

Here are a couple examples from my own experiences. As best I can, I will also include the approximate age this happened. Why? because you'll see that you don't have to be a child to do dumb things.

When I was in second or third grade (7 or 8 yrs old), I had been watching Bugs Bunny cartoons on TV one day. The show where Bugs helps Betsy Ross come up with a pattern for the flag gave me an idea. I went out into the front yard and laid a rake on the ground with the teeth facing skyward. I paced back and forth a few times. On the last time, I stepped hard down on the teeth of the rake. The handle came directly at my face and smacked me squarely on the forehead, side of my nose, and my chin. Much like the cartoon, I saw plenty of stars. Unlike the cartoon, however, I fell backward onto the ground, having been nearly knocked out by infinite wisdom. I don't particularly remember much between falling and getting back up again. I can say with authority that one should not attempt the things one sees in a cartoon. I'd be especially wary of the Roadrunner ones.

My father refereed soccer for many years while I was growing up. For a time, I too earned money overseeing matches. I suppose I was in ninth grade for this particular adventure. Dad worked a tournament in the Southside of Pittsburgh. After the matches were over, my brother and I ran on to the field and began kicking the ball around. We dribbled, shot, tries tricks, and generally goofed around while Mom and Dad gathered everything to head home. I stood about midfield and kicked the ball at my brother, who was in one of the goals. He blocked the shot and kicked the ball back at me. As the ball got close, I started dribbling backward. The ball moved between my legs and under my feet as I continued to move further and further away from him. As I gained speed in this backward motion, I suddenly found myself lying on the ground with a powerful headache. I had backed myself full-speed into one of the goal posts! My brother came over to check on me. My parents, who must have only seen him walking toward me and me lying on the ground, called out, "Get up and let's go!" It wasn't until the ride home that I told my folks why I had been on the ground. When quizzed as to why he didn't stop me, my brother said, "Well, I thought you were going to turn around or stop. I didn't think you'd run into the goal post."

In high school (this would be 10th grade), a friend of mine offered to drive me home in his truck. We lived in an apartment in Westminster, Colorado. We pulled into the parking lot and he stopped to let me out. I opened the door and he suddenly gunned the vehicle into motion. Rather than shutting the door, I jumped from the moving truck. As I flew through the air, I pictured myself landing hard and rolling across the pavement. Rather than face that, I managed to reach back and grab the door handle of the truck. I slammed against the side and my legs dragged across the ground, tearing a large hole in my jeans at the knees. The truck stopped and my friend said, "What the heck are you doing!?" "I was jumping out to get home." "What the heck would you do that for!?" Honestly, I hadn't lived in the area long and I didn't know if he was going to let me out or not. I told him, "I didn't think you'd let me out." He laughed. "Man, that is the craziest thing I have seen anyone do!" You would think I had learned not to do such things in the future. Nope.

As a sophomore (or maybe freshman, hard to remember) in college, a group of friends and I were up late after going to the movies. Rather than heading back to the dorm, we went to a nearby park. We played on the see-saws, rode the swings, and generally made fools of ourselves. As the swinging continued, we decided to see who could jump the farthest while the swing was in motion. I'm not sure what happened, but when it came my turn, I got the swing going high enough that it at least appeared to reach its peak parallel to the bar that held the chains. As I came forward from the backswing, I thrust myself out of the seat and into the air. As in my previous story, I suddenly questioned my actions midflight. I grabbed the chain and fell straight to the ground. As everyone laughed, I checked myself for signs of destruction. The only thing bruised: my ego.

Naturally, I have done many other things that left eyewitnesses scratching their heads. Each of these tales from true events could be expanded into longer stories and/or combined into a novelization.

So, I pose to you the question I asked at the beginning: Have you ever done something stupid that you wished you could take back immediately after you did it?

Talking About Writing - Who has time?

The number one issue I have with my own writing is time.  If you read my last piece about writing (Getting Started), you may recall that I talked about ways in which to combat the fears and blocks in getting started.  I have since heard comments to the effect, "That's great, but I don't have TIME for writing!"

For the sake of sharing, I tell you, I often say those words to myself.  And, sometimes I don't just say them in my head, which I'm sure causes a mild case of concern for those around me.  But, the fact is - we won't get anything written if we don't write something!  So how does one find time to juggle work, supper, kids, practice, homework, email, social networking, walking the dog (or in our case, feeding the goats) AND write!?

I have learned (or have read, to be more accurate) about several different methods people use to find the time to write.  Maybe something in here will connect with you and perhaps kickstart your own adventure(s) in writing!

1. Get a Recorder - Though technically not "writing," a voice recorder is a great way to at least get your thoughts down.  I have that using the voice memo feature of my cell phone works great for capturing thoughts about story lines, characters, tweaking a current project, etc.  I have also recorded the workings of story (who knows if it will grow to be novel-length) while driving down the road.  I do not record everything in one take nor in one sitting.  If an idea hits me, I hit the "MEMO" button on my phone, touch "Record" and begin talking.  Most of my thoughts last for less than two minutes.  then, I stop recording.  When another idea hits, I record it.  Though I know I am not getting the ideas down on paper (or in the computer), I feel like I've at least accomplished something by having my thoughts "on tape" as we used to say.  Most MP3 players have a recording feature.  Even an iPod Touch will work if you get the headphone/microphone combo for it.  And, if you happen to have a tape-based recorder laying around not doing anything, this might serve to revive it.
   
   Of course, the issue remains: talking and recording is not writing.  One still has to transcribe what one has recorded.  Or, if you don't have a recorder, you still need to figure out just WHEN you are going to write.
       
2. Write for 15 Minutes - I recently read an article dealing with the subject of finding time, and the article (in Writer's Digest) suggests finding (or making, actually) 15 minutes available in the morning, at lunch, at night before one goes to bed.  I think this plan of attack serves those who are very serious about their writing but not able/willing to give up their day jobs.  While working on my NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) project, I forced myself to write.  At times, it was worse than getting up at 5:30am to exercise.  I fired up the laptop and wrote while I watched TV.  I took the laptop to bed with me and while my wife slept, I typed away until my eyelids shielded the screen from my view (side note: Autosave is a VERY handy feature!).  When writing in this fashion, it really does not matter what you are writing - you don't necessarily have to think about plot, theme, or anything deep.  The secret is to keep writing.  Describe a character you'd like to use, write how you would feel if your best friend just told you s/he was dying, won the lottery, or had changed sexual orientation.  Write about the yapping dog next door and what you (although it's really your story's character we're talking about) would do about it.  Just write.  But, many times, I didn't have 15 minutes to write.  In fact, many times, I barely found even five minutes of time.
       
3. Write for 5 Minutes - And, thus I come to the "five-minute rule."  Write for five minutes.  I read this in Immediate Fiction: Start small and write for five minutes.  Where do I have five minutes?  In the bathroom.  Yes, while you are sitting there, instead of a magazine, pick up a pen and write.  As mentioned before, write about whatever comes to mind.  Remember, in stories, your characters can do anything, and they can do things you never would - kill someone, steal something, save a drowning baby, cook an eight-course meal, whatever!  Don't worry about details and jargon.  There's time for that later (yes, I said "time").  In the short time you have between, well moon up and moon down, you can write.  I prefer a pen and spiral notebook for that particular venue.  but, if you are happy taking a laptop with you, do that, but WRITE - no social networking, no email-checking!  What you will find is that you have five minutes in the morning while eating breakfast, or five minutes at lunch before you have to get back to work, or at lunch while you eat - perhaps before you eat.  What about bedtime?  Just before you turn out the lights, grab the notebook and write for a few minutes.  Can't do five whole minutes?  Do three.  Really.  Or how about two?  Want to know where you can find two minutes?  How about during nearly every commercial break on every television station?  Write during the commercials then put the pen down when the show comes back on (if you can put it down. If you can't stop, just keep writing!).

As you push yourself to write (especially in 2-, 3-, or 5-minute intervals), you will find that you are able to get a lot more written in those precious few moments than you may have ever fathomed.  It really works!  You may also find yourself rearranging your time in order to write more.  TV shows you thought were so worth watching may fall to the wayside.  You may find yourself writing instead of aimlessly reading people's updates on social networks.  Not that you should give those things up - not by a long shot!  But, in my experience (and from an old adage or two): we make time for things we deem important in our lives.  I exercise every morning (not much, but better than nothing at all in my case) because I think it's important to my overall health.  I write in weird places at odd times because I think it's important to my future as someone that wants to write for fun (and hopefully profit some day).

And, with a bit of discipline, baby steps and creativity, you too will (hopefully!) find that you've had the time to write all along.

Talking about Writing - Getting Started

I've published one collection of short stories so far.  I have one novel that is somewhere between "close to the end" and "catching a second wind."  Why am I telling you this?  Because, I'm just a normal, everyday guy.  Just like you.  Unless you're a woman, in which case I should probably say, "I am a normal, everyday person."  Then again, the implication is that I am normal, whatever that means.  I digress, as I often do.

My point is this: Anyone can write.  And, in my opinion, unlike the Ratatouille saying "Anyone can, but not everyone should," I say that everyone should write at least once.  Write some short stories, write some poems, write a novel, write some of each, whatever hits your fancy.

For the purposes of this post, I will concentrate on the "starter's blocks" that often come long before anyone sits down to start hammering out their own creativity onto the typewritten page (or computer screen). 

Block #1 - "I don't have anything to say" - Some writing guides would argue that the fact you just said you had nothing to say was, in fact, something to say.  Here's my take on it: You only think you have nothing to say.  We all have plenty to say every day - we talk to our friends, our co-workers, neighbors, families, the checkout clerk at Wal-Mart that decides to share every detail of her life when all you really want is to go home... Lots of things to say (or hear) from people you encounter each day.  So, it's not that you don't have anything to say, but you might counter here (and most likely are as you read this) with Block #2.

Block #2 - "I don't have anything interesting to say" - Ah!  We have exposed one of the fears of writing - rejection - and we haven't even started writing yet!  Think back to the last book or story you read.  What made you read it?  What made you want to read it?  Right now, you may be thinking, "It was sad, scary, poignant - interesting!" Well, I would hope so, or else what was the point, right?  Now, if you have the book handy, look through it.  What do you see?  How is it written?  What does the author do that made it an interesting read?  Usually, the answer is: nothing special.  In truth, the story in the book was probably a series of events with a handful of people that led you down a path.  Think about talking to folks you know.  How do those stories usually unfold?  They usually go something like this:
---Person 1 (call her Patty): "You should have seen Jim last night!"
---Person 2 (call her Rachel): "What happened!?"
---Patty: "We had gone out to Dino's for supper, and when the waiter brought our water glasses to the table, he tripped and spilled the drinks all over Jim!"
---Rachel: (gasps, putting her hand to her mouth), "No way!" she says as she starts to laugh. "What happened after that!?"
---Patty: "Oh my gosh!  Jim is sitting there, water is pouring down his head into his lap. Oh, he was wearing the new shirt I got him for Christmas! I just realized that!"

You see where I'm going, right?  Just an office conversation.  Were you interested? Would you like to know what happened next?  Maybe. Depends on you as a reader to determine your own interest level.  What about me as the writer?  How do I make that story interesting?  I feed you tidbits.  What, in my few lines, would you like to know?  What's the restaurant look like?  What do Patty and Rachel look like?  What kind of person is Jim?  How does he react?  You can do the same thing.  It may take some practice, but you can do it.  The easiest way to start?  Write an actual conversation as best you remember it - use one that made you laugh or brought tears to your eyes.  Believe me, if it affected you, it will affect (that is, be interesting) to others.  And, that brings us to another block.

Block #3 - "I've heard people say, 'write what you know,' but I don't know anything." - I hate that advice.  To me, for me, it is the worst possible thing to say to someone.  Because it is too generic.  It's like most fortunes from a cookie.  When I write, I usually have no idea what's going to come out.  Then again, sometimes I have the topic or maybe the people, and things grow from there.  But, what do I know?  Do I know about hanging on a wooden cross because I had been caught and thrown in jail?  Do I know what hanging on the cross next to Jesus Christ was like?  Of course not.  Do I know what winning the lottery is like?  I wish!  But, no.  Now, can I imagine what things might be like sitting in a jail cell as a crowd of people begin shouting for some guy to killed?  Why not, right?  Can I imagine what winning the lottery would be like?  Heck yeah, almost everyone I know does that!  Writing, for me and I hope to show that it can be for you too, is a way to express the imagination we have running around in our heads.  Forget "what you know."  I am a Technology Coordinator - a techie.  None of my stories (that I can recall) have anything to do with techie stuff.  Why not?  Because that's "what I know" and I have yet to imagine a story involving techie 'stuff.'  Forget "what you know."  I do like something else I heard, though: "Write what you think you might feel, or what you might want to feel."  Ah, now wait... There may be something there.  Pick a scenario (say, winning the lottery), make up a person's name.  What would that person do if s/he won the lottery?  "Yeah, but," you may be thinking, "do you know how many other people have written about that very same thing!?"  My response: at least one less than should have because YOU haven't yet.  What would that person feel?  Who would want your character's money?  Does the person have kids, a spouse, an ex-? What do they think about your character? About your character winning?  Happy? Jealous? Faking happiness but really jealous?  Would someone kill for that money?  Of course, it doesn't have to go that way - YOU make it go the way you want (or, go the way the story takes you).

Block #4 - "What if I am no good?  What if no one reads it?" - This is the block that kept me from publishing for more than ten years.  Frankly, if I had not heard about Lulu.com from a friend, I might still be hiding behind this block.  Most of us fear some kind of rejection.  So, how do we overcome it?  Stephen King did it by hanging every rejection letter he got on a nail in his wall.  As time wore on, the nail was replace by a railroad spike.  Yes, that's right. And, yes, I am talking about THAT Stephen King.  He has said that to this day, he keeps those rejections.  I don't know that I could handle that.  But, I have found there are several things one can do to help combat this block. 

1. Find someone you trust - a family member, a friend, a co-worker - and let them know that you have started writing and that you'd like to bounce a story or two off them.  Let me tell you, you need to select someone that you don't mind brutal honesty.  Especially if they are not writers themselves.  BUT, even if that one person doesn't like the story, it's not the end.  Why not?  They may not like your style, or the subject matter, or the font you used. Seriously.  What you want from them, though, is a review/critique of the writing itself - wording, rhythm, etc.
2. Find a fellow writer or editor via local college or social network - Heck, ask me.  I can't speak for all writer, of course, but I'd love to read someone else's writing.  A fellow writer is much more apt to critique/criticize the WRITING and not the WRITER.  There is nothing wrong with YOU as a person just because you have to work on technique, phrasing, pacing, etc.  I think all writers strive for improvement. Or I hope so.
3. Take the "Who cares" approach - not an easy one because it means you are letting your ego take a hike and you are going to put yourself out there regardless.  That's the approach I took.  Once I got on Lulu.com (and there are plenty of other self-publishing sites to choose from, or you can submit to publishers in the traditional manner), I decided that I was going to put my stories out there and let them rise or fall.  Does that mean I don't care if no one buys the book?  Of course not! I would LOVE to see a million sales.  Or even a hundred.  But, what mattered to me was that I did it - I wrote some stories, reviewed them, edited them, then published them.  In my case, I decided to offer up the PDF version for free.  Why on earth would I just give away my hard work?  I figure there are people who will check it out simply based on curiosity.  And, I figure some folks prefer to have a book-in-hand.  I know of one person that bought a hard copy after reading "Hero" in the PDF.  You can do the same thing - put it out there and let it ride.  Perhaps knowing you have something in print will light a fire to write more.  Or, maybe it helps cross one thing off your "bucket list."  Either way, you can tell the world "I'm Published!"

I've only covered a few of the blocks people may use when first starting out on the road to authorship, but hopefully I've given you a few ideas on how to poke holes in those blocks.  I'm not saying my advice will bulldoze the blocks, just saying that if you remove enough bricks, the roadblock will fall down all by itself.

Feel free to comment, criticize, critique, etc.  After all, I'm just an everyday guy trying to help.  And, I'll be happy to edit this post to reflect the comments I feel should be incorporated.