Well, since we're all eating each other, why not a parody? "People Eat People"

People Eat People
a parody based on "People Are People"

People eat people so why should it be

Your hand and eye should taste altogether awfully

So we're different colors

But it's all red when we bleed

And different people have different needs

It's obvious you ate me

Though I'm making this song

I know that I just met you

So do you like me well-done?

I can't understand

What makes a man

Eat another man

Help me understand

People eat people so why should it be

You like 'em fried with a side of jelly

Help me understand

Now you're punching and you're kicking

And you just can't get free

I was hoping I could have your toes fricasseed

So far I've eaten your face

But I'm sure with a twist

It'll just take a while to eat you

From your head to your wrist

I can't understand

What makes a man

Eat another man

Help me understand...

A Parody - Welcome to the Timeline

Tonight brings another Plurkish Parody, to the tune of "Welcome to the Jungle"

Welcome to your timeline
We post fun 'n' games
You'll find anything you want
Honey you'll learn screenames
We are the plurkers that can find
Whatever link you need
It don't take any money honey
It's like a disease

Oh, the timeline
Welcome to your timeline
Karma brings you to your shun n,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,n,,n,n,,n knees, knees
I wanna post and read

Welcome to your timeline
We plurk it day by day
If you post it they're gonna read
But it's the price you pay
And you can like a favorite URL ("earl")
That you can then re-read
You can find some bright minds
And they'll share their thoughts for free
On the timeline
Welcome to the timeline
Check my, my, my fans-of-me
I, I wanna see your theme

Welcome to the timeline
We get plurks here everyday
Ya learn ta post like an animal
Keep your karma up to stay
If you got a hunger for what you read
You'll reply eventually
You can share anything you want
And you can even replurk from me

Oh, the timeline
Welcome to your timeline
Karma brings you to your shun n,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,n,,n,n,,n knees, knees
I wanna post and read

And when karma's high you never
Ever want-it to come down, so down, so down, so down YEAH!

You know where you are?
You're on the timeline baby
You're gonna ride
On the timeline
Welcome to your timeline
Karma brings you to your shu n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,,n knees, knees
On the timeline
Welcome to your timeline
Check my, my, my fans-of-me
Timeline
Welcome to the timeline
Watch it bring you to your shun n,n,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,,n,n,,n.n, knees, knees
On the timeline
Welcome to the timeline
Watch karma bring you to your
It's gonna bring you friends!
Ha!

A parody - I need a floppy now

Sony announced that in 2011, it would stop making/selling floppy disks.  In honor of their demise, I wrote a little ditty.

To the tune "Need You Now" (Lady Antebellum)

Pictures on my floppies
Scattered all around the floor.
Reaching for the holder,
disks just dont belong anymore.

And I wonder if I'll ever re-install
Windows for Workgroups three-one-one

They charge a quarter just for one,
Sony says they're done, but I need one now.
Said I'd back them up, but floppies aren't for sale
and I need one now.
And I don't know how I can do without,
I need a floppy now.

Another ruined floppy
Cover got jammed in the door.
Wishing I had transferred all my files long before.

And I wonder if I'll ever re-install
Novell Netware two point, oh the time.

They charge a quarter just for one,
I put 'em in the trunk and I need one now.
Said I'd back 'em up, but floppies aren't for sale
and I need one now.
And I don't know how I can do without,
I need a floppy now.

Yes I'd rather use disks than nothing at all.

I had a holder full of some,
but Sony's gone and done killed floppy now.
I even tried to call,
But Sony just hung up and I need one now.
And I don't know how I can do without,
I need a floppy now.
Mavica is useless now.
Oh Sony, I need one now.

Waitin' on my karma - a parody

To the tune of "Waitin' on a Woman" by Brad Paisley:

Sittin' online at Plurk dot com
He plurked me, I do recall, and asked me
"You waitin' on your karma?"
I replied yeah and then "How 'bout you?"
He said, "Son since it hit about fifty-two I've been
Waitin on my karma."

When I logged on first, it was great
I stayed up every night so late
And I looked down and stared, karma's thirty
Plurk said, "I'm sorry that it takes so long
You have to post from dusk til dawn."
But let me tell you son, it ain't that pretty
Yeah, you'll spend your time, and lose your mind
Waiting on your karma.

He said, "My timeline took a year to plan
You talk about an anxious man, I was nervous
waitin' on my karma."
And then he nudged the screen like chatters do
And said, "I'll say this about the smileys too, it was worth it
Waiting on the karma."

And I don't guess I go nowhere
'Cause my karma falls when I'm not there
Sometimes it does it just 'cause it can do it
Boy it's just a fact of life
It'll be the same on your timeline
Might as well go on and get used to it
It'll take it's time, and you'll lose your mind
Waitin' on your karma

I've read somewhere statistics show
it falls faster, the higher it goes
And that don't make sense 'cause I know I won't be ready
So when it finally comes my time
And 100 karma's on my timeline
I'll find myself the freeze, and keep it steady
I know it takes some time, please don't lose your mind
Waitin' on your karma

Plurkers, take your time, don't lose your mind
Waitin on your karma...

A Parody: Plurk is Quirky

To the tune "Walking after Midnight" (with liberties and imagination):

Plurk is Quirky
Can not post right
While we're online
Just like we used to do

Plurk's always quirky
No pictures load right
or even youtube

I plurk for hours
And watch my karma
Well there's no harm-a saying I'll plurk you

But Plurk is quirky
And Links don't work right
Searching's broke too

I tried a picture of a willow
or a smiley with a pillow
Maybe plurk's just too quirky

And as updates go by me
No new posts that I see
I'm plurkless as I can be

Oh Plurk is quirky
Can not post right
Can't get online
Just hoping once it won't be

Plurk is quirky
Karma's not right
Not Working for me

I tried posting video
Computer just said "uh, no"
Maybe plurk's too quirky for me
And as updates go by me
karma falls so quickly
I'm plurkless as I can be
So Plurk is quirky
It don't work right
Can't get online
And I'm hoping it may be
Plurk's just quirky
After midnight
It'll start working for me

What do I do while watching football?

While watching football today, my brain wandered off somewhere, and this was the result:

"Plurkthumping" (A parody of "Tubthumping") by David Henderson, 2010

(we'll be Plurking, sometimes lurking, yeah we're Plurking)
I go online, and I sign in again
Cannot keep my karma down

I go online, and I sign in again
You cannot keep my karma down

I Plurk online, and on my phone again
You'll never keep my karma down

I plurk online, oh yes I'm here again
I cannot keep my karma down

(Plurking the night away, Plurking the night away)
I'm plurking what I think, You're plurking what you think
We're plurking everything, we're all online again

We share the things we can use in the classroom
We post the things we're cleaning with a big broom
(Oh, karma's good, karma's good, karma's good)

I plurk online, so I sign in again
I gotta check my timeline

I plurk online, and on my phone again
Because I cannot get away

I try to sleep, but I get up again
Plurkin from dusk till dawn

I'm plurking now, and I'll plurk again
I cannot keep my karma down

(Plurking the night away, Plurking the night away)
I'm plurking while I drink, I'm plurking what I think
I'm plurking 'bout my sink, I'm plurking anything

I'm plurking songs and videos and dumb rhymes
My friends (eyeroll) me all the time!
(don't hide from me, my plurking neighbor)

We go online, and then we plurk again
Can't let karma go down

We're here online, and then we plurk again
Sharing what we've found

We plurk online, edit profile again
Changing our backgrounds

We're plurking now, and then we'll plurk again
Makin friends from all around

My karma's down, I get it up again
I'm never gonna keep it down

We're signing in, so we can post again
plurking all over town

I go online, checking my fans again
Plurking what we've found

Got (ninja) now, I'll use it again
Got my smileys all around

(repeat til end or until you pass out, whichever comes later)

(Tubthumping is this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2H5uWRjFsGc)

Plurkless (a parody of "Shameless")

One of my Plurk friends (Oretha) wrote a post that simply said, "Plurkless tonight."  Well, if you know how my mind works, you probably can guess how long it took before I started writing the words to a new parody.  Exactly.  Here is the rough final draft.  Wait, what's a "rough final draft?"  That means it was written in one take (with a slight pause during housecleaning) and will mostly stand on its own without revision.  It was a lot of fun to write!

"Plurkless" - a parody of "Shameless," by David Henderson (c)2010

Well I'm Plurkless, when it comes to posting too
I'll plurk anything you want me to
I'll plurk anything at all

And I'm posting, here for all the world to see
Oh Plurkers, just what's left in me
Not plurking much at all

You know now I'm not a man whose ever been
Insecure about the plurks I've been putting in
I blank so easy, I can not write
But if you need me to plurk tonight

I'm plurkless. Plurkville, I don't have a prayer
Every thread I'm reading there
I scroll down, pressin on my keys

And I'm changing, swore I'd update profiles
Oh, but then you plurked me otherwise
I'll post anything, oh please

You see, in all my life I've never found
A plurk I couldn't resist, or one to turn down
I just plurk away to everyone I ever knew
But I can't seem to plurk a few

I have never let karma take this much control of me
I plurk too late to call my life my own
And I've writ so many words and I've plurked so perfectly
But in this world now, I can't refuse
I've got karma I cannot lose
Oh, I'm plurkless

You know it should be easy since I've plurked so long
To write what I'm thinking or to make up a song
I've never lost karma and I won't desist
'Cause I've never had to plurk like this

It's all over my screen.

I'm plurkless, I don't have the power now
I can't find it anyhow
So I'll read plurks and I'll go.

Oh, I'm plurkless, plurkless as a fan can be
It's making a big fool of me
I'll plurk ya later, don't you know.

Oh, I'm Plurkless,
I'll plurk ya later don't you know
Oh, I'm plurkless,
oh, cant even see my keys
plurkless