Kids make you fat... and roller coasters...

While driving into work this morning, I heard a story on the radio: Having the kids at home makes adults eat more fatty foods. First Mickey D's made us fat, now it's our children making us fat... Next, kids will be the number one source of stress... Oh, wait... Nevermind... :-) Just kidding! But, I'm sure they will cause cancer by the time it's all said and done....

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I was poking around the 'net last night, looking for virtual roller coasters. Why? Who knows, just something that..well..popped in my head, really... So I found a couple of interactive roller coasters that were kinda neat:
Java-based physics model uses the roller coaster to show the effects of height, speed, weight, gravity and more... For the record, I was able to make the coaster get stuck in the upside-down position in the loop... :-) (Click on picture above to see the gory details...)

The Make Tracks roller coaster program is a Shockwave-based program in which you drag and drop pieces onto a track and watch the effects (includes a "I wanna ride!" 1st person option).

Of course, my favorite find was not a virtual coaster, but a video of a coaster someone had designed using Roller Coaster Tycoon 3. Please note, this video contains cartoon violence (for lack of a better word):
Roller Coaster Massacre

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Did you watch "Boston Legal" Tuesday night?? Hilarious stuff!! Do you think the writers will ever have Denny Crane or Alan Shore actually LOSE a case?? I doubt it...and I can't decide if that's a good thing or a bad one... Hmm...

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A house burned down in Prescott Tuesday afternoon... The story as I understand it goes something like this: A family moves out of the house, but still has some of their belongings there. A relative (young guy - teenager, maybe?) goes to the house and starts cooking something in the microwave. Whatever it is catches fire. In his panic, he runs away. By the time someone called the fire station, flames were shooting out of the house. At one point, the flames were so high, they could be seen from the highway about two blocks away... Let's back up here... The kid ran away when the microwave caught on fire... Now, I'm not saying he should have stayed to fight the fire himself, and I understand that he was scared since he wasn't supposed to be in the house, but still.... Yeesh.

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Tony Gwynn and Cal Ripken, Jr. were both elected to the baseball Hall of Fame the other day! I happen to be a big fan of both guys, and they deserve to be honored among those who have been honored before them!! Awesome!!

Quick clarification....

Evidently, my comment regarding 'bald shrimp' hit a tender spot among some Arkansans... I apologize. 'Bald Shrimp' do not exist in Arkansas - they come from Louisiana... As in, "WE don't say 'bald!' Louisianans say 'bald!'"

My deepest apologizes to my fellow Arkansans.... :-)

Will't, Wont to, and not the same old Apprentice...

Evidently, there are words being formed each and every day. For example, the kiddos at Prescott Elementary have created their own contraction: Will't - as in Will It... Used in context: "We're going to the cafeteria." "Oh, will't have milk and cookies?" Willit, and it's contraction, Will't... Learn them - they'll be on the benchmark...

Ah, but why should things end there? How about taking a contraction and making it whole? Apparently, the students 'wont to' do many things.... At least, that's how they WRITE it... When asked if the students in question "wont to" do something, as opposed to "WANT to" do it, they simply nod in agreement. "You WONT to have a puppy?" "Yes!" "Don't you mean, 'you WANT to have a puppy?'" "That's what I said! I WONT to have a puppy!"

Somehow, I don't think there any winning this one... You see, I have been having this same argument with folks ever since I came to Arkansas... Things like the word "pin." You see, down here, "pin" when spoken can mean a straight pin, a writing utensil, or the place where a pig stays.... And, my all time favorite is 'bald shrimp.' You see, I had no idea shrimp had hair to begin with... 'Oh, wait, you mean "BOILED" shrimp?' 'That's what I said, "bald shrimp!"' 'Nevermind...'

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Please, Mr. Trump, bring back George and Carolyn. Ivanka just doesn't have what it takes to be taken seriously. Come on... Look, I know Carolyn got axed because she was concentrating more on her publicity (that YOU created, Mr. Trump) than her work... oh wait a minute... Isn't she just emulating her supervisor?? Hmm... And, where is George?? Having the 'winning' PM sit in George's spot is stupid. At first, I thought it was a neat twist. Instead, it comes off as ridiculous. Really.... And, look, I know Robin has her duties in NYC, but come on, simply yelling at the folks waiting to fired is very unprofessional... Give Robin her day in the sun, and then she can be fired and join Carolyn in their world-wide publicity tour!

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For 'fun,' I ran 3DMark05 on my computer at work, and then on my computer at the house. Now, why use 05 when it is 07? For starters, the newest version is only 06 at the time of this writing.. Secondly, the 06 version requires much more up-to-date hardware then I have on either of those machines... Now, on COMPARABLY-EQUIPPED computers, the one at work ranks 11th and the one at the house ranks 1st! Not bad, right? Kinda.. It's a lot like comparing your 2004 Dodge Ram to comparably equipped 2004 Dodge Rams... The big difference would be that maybe I had, say, better quality gas, or maybe I installed one of those performance mod chips... It'd still be comparing apples to apples...er, uh, PCs in this case... Of course, for fun, I compared my home computer to all the other systems tested... Mine came in at the 1.5 million mark... Yes, that means there are 1.5 MILLION configurations/computers that perform better than my home pc... LOL.. What does this mean in the grand scheme of things? Nothing....

You see, in my opinion, as long as your computer does what YOU need it to do, then you're just fine. When your computer can't do what YOU need it to (or want it to), then it's time to look at upgrading... (There ya go, free computer consulting, and you get what you pay for, right?) :-)

Tony Choko and Cowher for President?

So, by now you hopefully figured out the answer to my advertising quote. If not, though, it was in reference to Polaner All-Fruit... Ever see the commercial? The folks are all standing around in their fancy-shmancy clothes and one guy says, "Could you please pass me the jelly?" Everyone goes ballistic, freaking out because the doofus called it "jelly..." Anyway, that's what popped in my head when I saw the jar...

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Well, just a day after a botched hold, T-Shirts for "Tony Choko" are now on sale on eBay. Turns out the same folks have a suggestion for what Cowher should do, now that he's no longer thrusting his jaw along the black-n-gold sidelines:

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While talking about various things, the topic of the new concept cars came up... GM has the VOLT (an electric car) and Honda has the Step Box... This looks like the Scion thingamabob, only .. well.. worse, if you can belive it... Well, really, it's like an Element only plainer... well, like a box:




Of course, Chevy showed off its new 2007 Camaro Convertible... Basically, it's a rip-off of a Mustang in my opinion, but you decide:

New Year's and then some...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

So, had you decided I had dropped off the face of the earth? No such luck for ya! :-) We had our 'partying on' for New Year's Eve alright... We hung out, ate too much, played games, and nearly missed the countdown... You see, we had the TV set for channel 7, which unbeknownst to us had already aired the 'live' countdown from NYC. At about 11:58, it clicked that they were showing some singer instead of the countdown... So, we quickly flipped over to some other channel and barely caught the countdown! Party hats, noise-makers, yelling and screaming - and that was just the adults! Emily covered her ears for at least two solid minutes before yelling out, "Are y'all done yet!?" She had fun, but enough was enough already! :-)

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Okay, much to my Aunt's chagrin, I feel the NEED to talk about Bill Cowher leaving the Steelers. I say chagrin, not because he is leaving, but because evidently in the 'Burgh, that is all they have talked about for weeks now (from speculation and rumor to his press conference). Pittsburgh does not get rid of its head coaches on a whim.. Since 1969 (the year I happened to have been born in), they have had all of TWO head coaches.... I grew up watching Chuck Noll and then grew to respect Cowher as a coach, though frankly in my eyes, he could never replace Noll. In any case, I expected this to happen, especially with the season going the way it did for the team. He says he does not like the sound of 'retirement' because it makes him feel old.... Okay, I can see that, but it just seems to me the 'right' thing to do is retire from the Steelers, then come 'out of retirement' for whatever purpose he serves in the future. I'm sure he'll find a coaching job, but man, I think he would make a great commentator... Sit him next to the Bus! :-) Maybe someday.... Well, good luck, Bill, and thanks for the One for the Thumb!

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And, what would be a post to my blog be without at least one reference to shopping at Wally World?? While walking around, my eyes happened to catch a product I hadn't seen advertised for quite a while... And my first thought? "Whatever you do, don't call it JELLY!" (Know what product I'm talking about? I'll let ya know next time!)

Oh, and while shopping, Emily was helping pick out some muffins, all the while yelling out, "Ho-Ho's! We gotta get some Ho-Ho's! We gotta have Ho-Ho's!" We didn't realize the impact she was having until a man walking by said to her, "Don't forget your Ho-Ho's! Ya GOTTA have Ho-Ho's!" :-)

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And, I leave you with one word: Chuzzle. Look it up, and don't blame me if your productivity at work goes through the floor.....