Shan and I watched an episode of Reba the other day. It was first episode I ever saw, and it turned out to be their finale, so there you go. It was a re-run, but still, the one time I watch it, and I see the finale... Anywho, the neighbor in the show visits Reba and proceeds to talk about "pre-divorce" sex. During the conversation, in her best porn music imitation, she spouts the title line of today's post. We were rolling on the floor. I knew I had to use it as the title! :-)
My interview with the local radio station went pretty well, depending on who you talk to. Shan said it was good. Emily was excited that her Daddy was on the radio. Tyler and I missed it because we were listening to the MP3 player in the truck - DUH, how dumb was I? Someone at work said something to the effect that I had done alright up until the point I said, "We may be sitting there with our jaws on the floor saying, 'How cool is THIS!?'" Her point was that I sounded like some hick who was overcome by the technology we use. Hick or not, I want you to stop and think about what is going to take place on Thursday: Over 200 sites around the WORLD are going to connect their video systems over the Internet in one global video conference. Excuse me while I repeat myself - HOW COOL IS THAT!?!? I don't care how much technology I know about or how much I use, the absolute wonder of what we can DO with that technology still blows me away. That's the kid in me. I love to WONDER. I love to be CURIOUS. And, I love to be completely blown out of the water when something huge takes place that I have a direct part in!
Back to the interview.... I walked in and sat down in front of the mic. The last time I was in front of a studio mic was about 12 years ago. I managed the college station while working at the local station (of where I went to college, not the same station I went to on Tuesday). It felt good to be behind the mic. There's just something "cool" about being on the radio, I think... :-) Anyway, Mark asked me several questions, and we basically had a 15 minute fireside chat about the Megaconference, about what I do at the co-op, about the services the co-op provides in addition to what I do... It was fun!
At work, I receive several publications - some of which directly pertain to my job and others I have no idea why I get them. One such magazine is "Advanced Imaging." Okay, it's about lenses and cameras and other electronic imaging stuff, so it's kinda related to my job. Anyway,
The guy I told you about before that had his motorcycle die on him? Well, he has a new ride now, so I made up a song. He helped by providing the subject line of the email, and the rest is parody-er, history... I changed his last name to "Lastname" in the song posted here, just to protect his name...
"Got Bike Will Travel" (parody of "Have Gun Will Travel")
By David (because I can...)
(you have to use your imagination to get some of the lines to fit the
tune)
"Got bike will travel" reads the subject line.
Bob has a new bike, and he's doin' fine.
His new Ninja tires heed the calling wind.
No man of fortune, traded the ol' "Mean Green" in!
Lastname, Lastname, where do you ride?
Lastname, Lastname, down on Sixty-nine.
He travels on to wherever he must,
In a new 250, he'll have to place in his trust.
There are barstool legends that old riders tell
Of the man with Ninja
Of the man with rebel yell
Lastname, Lastname where do you ride?
Lastname, Lastname on Route Sixty-Nine
Then Seventy-one, Forty Home...
Nov 8, 2007
Randomness
(Somehow this post was never published, it was originally written on 10/2/2007)
Barry Bonds says he won't visit the Baseball Hall of Fame if they put his record-breaking ball (now marked with an asterisk) in there. (story). There has been a lot of commentary and controversy surround Bonds, steroids, the record, etc. Here is my take on it:
--First of all, Bonds ASSUMES that he will be elected to the Hall of Fame. Wait, how does that go again? ELECTED to the HOF? Ah, yes, you see a select group of people get to vote and decide who goes into the HOF. It is the same group (not same individuals, but same group) that keeps Pete Rose's PLAYING career out of the HOF. Does Bonds think the voting committee will ever put him in the Hall? I don't see it happening in my lifetime.
--Second, Bonds says "There are no asterisks in baseball." Where has HE been for his career? Of courses there are asterisks in baseball. They're all over the place, from single-season records (signifying the fact that there were more games in a season, that night games were not in effect, that there was blood on the sock, whatever) to stadium attendance to field sizes and distances to the walls of those stadiums. Of COURSE there are asterisks. I would venture that Bonds' contract is LOADED with them (though in legalese, they would be footnotes).
--Third, Bonds says he is going to retire in five years. That assumes any team in the league wants him now that the Giants have said, "no thanks." The way the HOF works, a player cannot be nominated until at least five years after they retire. So, basically, we're looking at ten years before the issue comes up "officially." Please refer back to point #1.
Barry Bonds says he won't visit the Baseball Hall of Fame if they put his record-breaking ball (now marked with an asterisk) in there. (story). There has been a lot of commentary and controversy surround Bonds, steroids, the record, etc. Here is my take on it:
--First of all, Bonds ASSUMES that he will be elected to the Hall of Fame. Wait, how does that go again? ELECTED to the HOF? Ah, yes, you see a select group of people get to vote and decide who goes into the HOF. It is the same group (not same individuals, but same group) that keeps Pete Rose's PLAYING career out of the HOF. Does Bonds think the voting committee will ever put him in the Hall? I don't see it happening in my lifetime.
--Second, Bonds says "There are no asterisks in baseball." Where has HE been for his career? Of courses there are asterisks in baseball. They're all over the place, from single-season records (signifying the fact that there were more games in a season, that night games were not in effect, that there was blood on the sock, whatever) to stadium attendance to field sizes and distances to the walls of those stadiums. Of COURSE there are asterisks. I would venture that Bonds' contract is LOADED with them (though in legalese, they would be footnotes).
--Third, Bonds says he is going to retire in five years. That assumes any team in the league wants him now that the Giants have said, "no thanks." The way the HOF works, a player cannot be nominated until at least five years after they retire. So, basically, we're looking at ten years before the issue comes up "officially." Please refer back to point #1.
Nov 5, 2007
Popped in my head
For starters, the Steelers kicked some serious Baltimore, well, okay ex-Cleveland, boo-tay on MNF! Though, the uniforms?? Look, I understand the whole 75 years thing and the retro look, but dang, those were UGLY!
The DVD I got with my computer magazine did NOT have the demo for Crysis, just some stupid videos. What a rip off. Oh well, there were a couple games on there that I liked - Seven Wonders II and some 3D mini golf game... Emily wrote down my scores, though the little sheets of paper were nowhere big enough for the massive numbers I was putting up (remember, kids, in golf, big numbers are baaaaddd...).
I read a story about a High School Junior that got trampled after he was thrown from the bull he was riding. He passed away in the hospital. The article said they were holding the funeral in his High School gym.... "I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named..." - I hope he is singing those words in Heaven tonight.
Tyler received a poster from the Disabled American Veterans featuring Hall of Fame baseball players who served their country and received DAV status for their troubles. It is a very cool poster and I bought a frame for it during lunch, then when I got home, I hung it on the wall near the computer.
I have been invited to the local radio station to do an interview for Megaconference coming up on Thursday. I'll let you know how that goes. It's been many, MANY years since I was anywhere near a radio mic... :-)
Shan's Mom sent us a list of "play on words" jokes. I wanted to post them here, but I decided to add my own little twist and make them sound like fortune cookies/headlines:
Boy who wonders why baseball was getting bigger, shall find solution will hit him.
Police called to day care find three-year-old resisting a rest.
Man who cut off left side of body will be all right.
Roundest knight at King Arthur's table: Sir Cumference.
Butcher who backs up into meat grinder gets little behind in his work.
To write with broken pencil is pointless.
Fish in schools sometimes take debate.
Short fortune teller who escaped from prison was small medium at large.
Thief who steals calendar gets twelve months.
Thief who falls and breaks leg in wet cement becomes hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from garden charged with stalking.
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
When smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.
Math professor goes crazy with blackboard, does a number on it.
Professor discovered theory of earthquakes on shaky ground.
Dead batteries given out free of charge.
Taking laptop computer for run could jog your memory.
Dentist and manicurist fought tooth and nail.
Bicycle cannot stand alone; is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.
Time flies like arrow; fruit flies like banana.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.
Chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
You get repossessed if you don't pay your exorcist.
Recent bride gets new name and a dress.
Show me piano falling down mine shaft, I show you A-flat miner.
When clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Man who fell onto upholstery machine was fully recovered.
Grenade falls onto a kitchen floor in France, resulting in Linoleum Blownapart.
If you can't budge it, you are stuck with your debt.
Local Area Network in Australia: The LAN down under.
He broke into song because he could not find the key.
A calendar's days are numbered.
A boiled egg is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
If you jump off a Paris bridge, you are in Seine.
Woman who sees first strands of gray hair may dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture: a jab well done.
A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.
Nov 3, 2007
Have you got your mind yet?
These were the words spoken first thing this morning when Emily was asking questions while we were still sleeping. See, she wanted to invite a friend over to play. Shan's response was, "I'll have to make up my mind." Evidently, in the mind of our 5-year old, that meant Shan had lost her mind (or maybe it needed cleaning or something) and she didn't quite have it "back" or "ready" yet - thus, "Have you got your mind?" Classic!
Colin McRae died. He and his son died on September 15, 2007. I don't know how I missed this news, but I did. In fact, the only reason I even know about it now is because it was mentioned in a computer gaming magazine I got today in the mail. Some of you are going, "Colin WHO?" Colin McRae was to extreme baja-style/rally motorsports what Tony Hawk is to skateboarding. Kind of the "poster-boy" for the sport because of his accomplishments and cool stuff. He was born in 1968. Just a year older than I am. They were killed in a helicopter crash as it was approaching the landing near their home in England (He was a pilot). I only saw bits and pieces of any of his races, and I know his name more for the video games he worked on and put his name to. He will be missed dearly by his family and friends.
This afternoon, we went to see "Bee Movie." It was a very cute movie, touching on the "circle of life" concept a little. I have to admit, there is one part in the movie that almost does that "hit you over the head with 'animal cruelty'," but the movie saves itself from being preachy by using the good ol' "balance in the force" kind of thing. One my favorite things about the film was the length. Movies today tend to hover around the 120 minute mark, rather than the 90-minute mark I grew up with and love so much. "Bee" hits the mark almost exactly (listed as 91 mins). The action flows very well, with only a couple of places that seemed to have been dragged out a little. I'm not doing any spoilers or anything, so if this seems to avoid certain subjects/details, that's the reason. I will say that bringing "Kramer" into the film was a nice touch. :-)
I've been playing "Call of Duty 2" recently, as I may have mentioned. Well, maybe I haven't mentioned it... Anyway, it was my brother-in-law's birthday last week, and we got him a copy of COD2, which is what prompted me to load it up. Last night, when I finally decided to quit out of the game, the clock on the PC told me that I should have quit playing about 4 and a half hours earlier... :-) And, since I am not quite finished with my 2nd go-round of the game, I'll be playing again tonight... And with the return to DST, I could actually justify playing an extra hour because we roll the clocks back... :-)
Oh, the computer gaming magazine I got in the mail has the demo for "Crysis" on it! I can't wait to fire that bad boy up!! It is one of the most eagerly-awaited games of the year - killer graphics, sweet gameplay, awesome graphics, amazing physics engine, excellent graphics.. wait, did I say that already?? :-)
Colin McRae died. He and his son died on September 15, 2007. I don't know how I missed this news, but I did. In fact, the only reason I even know about it now is because it was mentioned in a computer gaming magazine I got today in the mail. Some of you are going, "Colin WHO?" Colin McRae was to extreme baja-style/rally motorsports what Tony Hawk is to skateboarding. Kind of the "poster-boy" for the sport because of his accomplishments and cool stuff. He was born in 1968. Just a year older than I am. They were killed in a helicopter crash as it was approaching the landing near their home in England (He was a pilot). I only saw bits and pieces of any of his races, and I know his name more for the video games he worked on and put his name to. He will be missed dearly by his family and friends.
This afternoon, we went to see "Bee Movie." It was a very cute movie, touching on the "circle of life" concept a little. I have to admit, there is one part in the movie that almost does that "hit you over the head with 'animal cruelty'," but the movie saves itself from being preachy by using the good ol' "balance in the force" kind of thing. One my favorite things about the film was the length. Movies today tend to hover around the 120 minute mark, rather than the 90-minute mark I grew up with and love so much. "Bee" hits the mark almost exactly (listed as 91 mins). The action flows very well, with only a couple of places that seemed to have been dragged out a little. I'm not doing any spoilers or anything, so if this seems to avoid certain subjects/details, that's the reason. I will say that bringing "Kramer" into the film was a nice touch. :-)
I've been playing "Call of Duty 2" recently, as I may have mentioned. Well, maybe I haven't mentioned it... Anyway, it was my brother-in-law's birthday last week, and we got him a copy of COD2, which is what prompted me to load it up. Last night, when I finally decided to quit out of the game, the clock on the PC told me that I should have quit playing about 4 and a half hours earlier... :-) And, since I am not quite finished with my 2nd go-round of the game, I'll be playing again tonight... And with the return to DST, I could actually justify playing an extra hour because we roll the clocks back... :-)
Oh, the computer gaming magazine I got in the mail has the demo for "Crysis" on it! I can't wait to fire that bad boy up!! It is one of the most eagerly-awaited games of the year - killer graphics, sweet gameplay, awesome graphics, amazing physics engine, excellent graphics.. wait, did I say that already?? :-)
Nov 1, 2007
Out for the night...
I forgot to mention that when we arrived home after trick-or-treating, there was a hand-written sign on the front door. It read, "Out for the night." Tyler had hung it there on the off chance (WAY off chance) that someone might happen by asking for a treat.
To say we live off the beaten path is something of an understatement. To say we lived OFF of off the beaten path would be a little more accurate, seeing as how anyone coming to visit MUST pass between my Mom's house and Shan's folks' house before you even think of seeing our house. All of that to say that it would take one sly dog to be able to get to our front door without being spotted by someone first.
Nonetheless, the boy was considerate enough that should someone happen to find their way to our front deck, they would be greeted with the message that we were not at home. Sometimes, kids can flat out amaze us...
It should have rained today (Thursday) because at lunch yesterday, I washed my truck. I'm not sure what happened, but when I left the office on Tuesday, John's car and my truck were covered in gifts from feathered friends passing by - a fly-by dropping, as it were... So, on Wednesday, I couldn't take it any more and had to wash the truck. As it turns out, that is the first washing since I got my bed liner. I'm not sure if that was coincidental (waiting so long) or some deep-seeded paranoia that running my truck through the auto-wash was going to curse it into rusting out the underside of the bed liner. I'm going for the first one.. :-)
When we host videoconferences at work, I try to record them on DVD. The "try" part comes in the fact that I am prone to forget, rather than than anything technical. While cleaning off my desk, I noticed a stack of DVD's (some were written on, some not). I decided to taken them into the DL lab and see if the discs needed finalized (the process where you make a DVD "final" such that it can be played in any DVD player). When I went into the lab, I noticed another stack of discs. Evidently, I am pretty good at the "recording" part, but not so good on the "Hey, let's make these ready so that the teachers who need to see them can actually watch them" part. After I got done finalizing and watching enough of the unmarked DVDs that I could look up the title and date of the videoconference portrayed on the discs, I took on the task of entering them into our online database (which is how the teachers that need to see them can order copies). Man, I ended up with about 25 or so... We're talking 25 or so 3-6 hour DVDs that our districts were not even aware existed... Ouch.
I am NOT a Clay Aiken fan. And, yes, it took ever fiber in my being not to modify his last name to what many folks call him. But, he was on "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader" tonight, and even I had to admit that he is a pretty smart guy. He walked away with $300,000 for his charity, and correctly answered the question he decided to quit on. I was impressed. Regis was also on tonight, and he did well, though he used up his "cheats" before his $300,000 question... So, I say congratulations to both guys, even though neither of you is smarter than a 5th grader... :-)
We saw a commercial for Oust that featured a woman, and she said something to the effect that her husband "spent a lot of time...brainstorming, shall we say..." That is hilarious! :-)
Oh, also saw a new Sonic commercial for their fried Mac-n-Cheese. The husband doesn't remember eating mac-n-cheese in the early stages of their marriage, and then says he lives in "the now." When asked about being married, he says something like "I'm just like, 'Hey who is this girl that keeps hanging around me? She's easy on the eyes... Don't BLOW IT!'" Classic stuff!! :-) (I looked on YouTube, but couldn't find it...)
Did you hear? The dude (Paul Tibbets) that piloted the plane ("Enola Gay" - after his Mom) that dropped the first atomic bomb on Japan died today. He was like 80-something. A lot of people chided him for 'pulling the trigger,' calling the bomb 'inhumane.' I love his response (paraphrasing): "Inhumane!? WAR is inhumane. There is nothing about war that's humane, so anything associated with war is not humane." He did what he was told to do, because he HAD to do it. Without the attacks on Japan, how much longer would WWII have gone on? A few Months, a few years, even longer than that? It was horrific, yes, but in the "good old days," you could drop bombs (carpet bombing or otherwise) and not have to worry about the "political correctness" of it. How INSANE is that anyway!? We have to play by some made up "rules" in a WAR!? And, how effective are those rules when only one side actually PLAYS by those rules!? Not very. You want to get a job done, you get in there and you do it - do it right, do it quick. If you are in a war zone, and you don't want to be killed, GET OUT! WALK if you have to, RUN if you have to, but you get the blankety blank out of there... I don;t care how "backward" any nation on Earth is, THAT does not take too many brain cells to figure out....
NBC showed more "green" ads for next week... Give me a break. (Stay with me here...) I saw a tag line on a forum that read, "For every animal you don't eat, I'll eat three." That's about how I feel regarding the whole "green" crap... I figure there are three tree-huggers for every one of me. According to some info I found on NASA (link), each person requires 20 trees to fully absorb the CO2 they produce each day. So, get out there and mark your 20! In fact, I think that should be a web site: www.markyour20.org. The purpose? To provide electronic push-pin maps where people log in and show where their 20 trees are. Then, the site could offer some kind of marker that could be tacked onto the 20 trees with the person's name and "MyTree" ID. I plan on picking a couple near the house, a few on the way to work, a couple near work, and then a couple in Hawaii, just in case I ever happen to be there, I'll already have my CO2 absorber staked out...
According to the site, it takes 200,000 trees for every 10,000 people. Okay, before everybody wigs out, here's my thought: No one says the trees have to be right where you are. Worldwide, how places are there that have a zillion trees and no people? Tons. Frankly, if it were a problem, I believe God or Mother Nature (take your pick based on your own personal belief system) would be rectifying the situation...
Do people honestly believe we are more powerful and have more effect on the things around us than God or the planet itself? Just how self-centered and cocky are these people? Seriously. I mean, yeah, throw your trash in the trash can (mainly because litter looks nasty), and if you LIKE hybrid cars, then drive one. I like my HEMI. That's what I'll drive, thanks.
To say we live off the beaten path is something of an understatement. To say we lived OFF of off the beaten path would be a little more accurate, seeing as how anyone coming to visit MUST pass between my Mom's house and Shan's folks' house before you even think of seeing our house. All of that to say that it would take one sly dog to be able to get to our front door without being spotted by someone first.
Nonetheless, the boy was considerate enough that should someone happen to find their way to our front deck, they would be greeted with the message that we were not at home. Sometimes, kids can flat out amaze us...
It should have rained today (Thursday) because at lunch yesterday, I washed my truck. I'm not sure what happened, but when I left the office on Tuesday, John's car and my truck were covered in gifts from feathered friends passing by - a fly-by dropping, as it were... So, on Wednesday, I couldn't take it any more and had to wash the truck. As it turns out, that is the first washing since I got my bed liner. I'm not sure if that was coincidental (waiting so long) or some deep-seeded paranoia that running my truck through the auto-wash was going to curse it into rusting out the underside of the bed liner. I'm going for the first one.. :-)
When we host videoconferences at work, I try to record them on DVD. The "try" part comes in the fact that I am prone to forget, rather than than anything technical. While cleaning off my desk, I noticed a stack of DVD's (some were written on, some not). I decided to taken them into the DL lab and see if the discs needed finalized (the process where you make a DVD "final" such that it can be played in any DVD player). When I went into the lab, I noticed another stack of discs. Evidently, I am pretty good at the "recording" part, but not so good on the "Hey, let's make these ready so that the teachers who need to see them can actually watch them" part. After I got done finalizing and watching enough of the unmarked DVDs that I could look up the title and date of the videoconference portrayed on the discs, I took on the task of entering them into our online database (which is how the teachers that need to see them can order copies). Man, I ended up with about 25 or so... We're talking 25 or so 3-6 hour DVDs that our districts were not even aware existed... Ouch.
I am NOT a Clay Aiken fan. And, yes, it took ever fiber in my being not to modify his last name to what many folks call him. But, he was on "Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader" tonight, and even I had to admit that he is a pretty smart guy. He walked away with $300,000 for his charity, and correctly answered the question he decided to quit on. I was impressed. Regis was also on tonight, and he did well, though he used up his "cheats" before his $300,000 question... So, I say congratulations to both guys, even though neither of you is smarter than a 5th grader... :-)
We saw a commercial for Oust that featured a woman, and she said something to the effect that her husband "spent a lot of time...brainstorming, shall we say..." That is hilarious! :-)
Oh, also saw a new Sonic commercial for their fried Mac-n-Cheese. The husband doesn't remember eating mac-n-cheese in the early stages of their marriage, and then says he lives in "the now." When asked about being married, he says something like "I'm just like, 'Hey who is this girl that keeps hanging around me? She's easy on the eyes... Don't BLOW IT!'" Classic stuff!! :-) (I looked on YouTube, but couldn't find it...)
Did you hear? The dude (Paul Tibbets) that piloted the plane ("Enola Gay" - after his Mom) that dropped the first atomic bomb on Japan died today. He was like 80-something. A lot of people chided him for 'pulling the trigger,' calling the bomb 'inhumane.' I love his response (paraphrasing): "Inhumane!? WAR is inhumane. There is nothing about war that's humane, so anything associated with war is not humane." He did what he was told to do, because he HAD to do it. Without the attacks on Japan, how much longer would WWII have gone on? A few Months, a few years, even longer than that? It was horrific, yes, but in the "good old days," you could drop bombs (carpet bombing or otherwise) and not have to worry about the "political correctness" of it. How INSANE is that anyway!? We have to play by some made up "rules" in a WAR!? And, how effective are those rules when only one side actually PLAYS by those rules!? Not very. You want to get a job done, you get in there and you do it - do it right, do it quick. If you are in a war zone, and you don't want to be killed, GET OUT! WALK if you have to, RUN if you have to, but you get the blankety blank out of there... I don;t care how "backward" any nation on Earth is, THAT does not take too many brain cells to figure out....
NBC showed more "green" ads for next week... Give me a break. (Stay with me here...) I saw a tag line on a forum that read, "For every animal you don't eat, I'll eat three." That's about how I feel regarding the whole "green" crap... I figure there are three tree-huggers for every one of me. According to some info I found on NASA (link), each person requires 20 trees to fully absorb the CO2 they produce each day. So, get out there and mark your 20! In fact, I think that should be a web site: www.markyour20.org. The purpose? To provide electronic push-pin maps where people log in and show where their 20 trees are. Then, the site could offer some kind of marker that could be tacked onto the 20 trees with the person's name and "MyTree" ID. I plan on picking a couple near the house, a few on the way to work, a couple near work, and then a couple in Hawaii, just in case I ever happen to be there, I'll already have my CO2 absorber staked out...
According to the site, it takes 200,000 trees for every 10,000 people. Okay, before everybody wigs out, here's my thought: No one says the trees have to be right where you are. Worldwide, how places are there that have a zillion trees and no people? Tons. Frankly, if it were a problem, I believe God or Mother Nature (take your pick based on your own personal belief system) would be rectifying the situation...
Do people honestly believe we are more powerful and have more effect on the things around us than God or the planet itself? Just how self-centered and cocky are these people? Seriously. I mean, yeah, throw your trash in the trash can (mainly because litter looks nasty), and if you LIKE hybrid cars, then drive one. I like my HEMI. That's what I'll drive, thanks.
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