First of all, some people are stupid. No, I did not just learn that, but simply had it confirmed during the weekend. A temp worker at a Long Island Wal-Mart was trampled to death because he was TRYING to open the door to let stupid people -er, shoppers into the store. (story here) Seriously? Saving $20 on an iPod Shuffle was worth KILLING someone over? Then, the cops had to be called in because the shoppers refused to leave after they were informed they had KILLED A MAN! Every single one of the people that trampled that mans should face manslaughter charges. Period. I don't what reason they give. If you trample someone to death, you deserve to face the music. I understand the authorities are reviewing the tapes trying to figure out who was involved. I hope every single one of them is brought in. Frankly, I think they all ought to be put in a room and trample each other until one is left standing. That person can then be put in prison for life without parole, subject to weekly tramplings by the other inmates. But, that's just me.
I learned that getting Christmas decorations out during a rain storm (even if it was a light one) is really not the best idea in the world.
I learned that vinyl tablecloths make great padding and a nice barrier between wet storage boxes and laminated flooring.
I learned that farm animals are not too happy when someone shakes said tablecloths out the door late at night and begins to shake them vigorously. Man, does THAT make a lot of noise, which consequently seems to really tick off horses and cows, possibly the rabbits as well.
I learned that no one seems to sell inexpensive, non-foil Christmas stickers anymore. Foil? Yes. Cheap? No. Magic Motion? Yes. Cheap? No. Look, I just wanted some Santas and snowmen, okay? Just sayin.
I learned that a lot of other people went through a lot of the same things I did as a kid, and those people are now on Sirius satellite making a killing telling their stories.
I learned that I knew a lot more people in High School than I ever realized, judging by the things people wrote in my yearbook. Oh, before that, I learned that I had put my yearbook in a box that had been sitting in the closet for years.
I learned that "layered" does not always mean the same thing, depending on who is cooking one's Texas Cheese Fries at Roadhouse. Look, if you work at Roadhouse, please tell the cooks that layered means: fries, cheese, bacon, fries, cheese, bacon, fries, cheese, bacon. Really, it's not that hard.
I learned that having a 13-year old and a 6-year old spoiled me. We babysat our 18-month old niece this past week. She was an absolute riot and is a great baby. But, she is quite handful that was far too busy playing to take a nap and she wore us clean out. God gives babies to young people for a reason. Seriously, if you're 40 or close to it, think long and hard before adding a little one to your household. In fact, borrow one or two for a weekend as a test drive. Really.
I learned Emily can do some seriously amazing gymnastics and is far more flexible than any six-year old should be. On top of that, she likes to jump on the bed, do a split, land in the split position and yell out "Boo-Yeah!" That is just.... ouch...
I learned Tyler is about a whisker shorter than I am. He is growing so fast, he is going to be taller than 6-foot when it's all said and done, I'm sure...
I learned shopping doesn't matter as long as you enjoy the company you're with. Shan and I spent the whole day Saturday going from store to store and only once was I about to drop over. And, that was from the place being toooooo hot. Look, it's FIFTY DEGREES out people, you do not need the heat on in a store (or mall)!
I learned that the older I get, the smaller and lower to the ground a Corvette is...
I know I learned a lot more, but it's 10:30pm, and I'm wiped out...