Aug 23, 2007

The fit hit the Shan

I received an email today from our Systems Coordinator and in it, she said, "...better late than never!" this immediately triggered the story that Wally (a friend of mine from way back in my college days) used to tell that ended in "Better Nate than lever!" Ahh... the all-time great pun tales. There are a lot of them, especially ones that end in the same pun. For example, there are quite a few than end with "better Nate than lever," though Wally's centered on a group of Egyptians that were having trouble moving large blocks in order to erect a pyramid. They tried placing a long piece of wood beneath the blocks and then leaning on the opposite end, which stuck high into the air. However, they were unable to budge the stone. The strongest man in the land, a man named Nathan, studied the situation, walked over to one of the large stones, and simply picked it up, asking, "where would you like it?" The Pharaoh was amazed and gave Nathan a huge reward for his efforts. The moral? Better Nate than lever... I know, I know, groan away...

But, this led me to search out other pun-stories, and in the process, I came across the one I used for the title: "Where were you when the fit hit the Shan?" Because, believe me, there have been times when that WASN'T a pun! :-)

For a list of punchlines, you can go here... Good luck to ya!

Though for fun, I'll list some here:
  • Two obese Patties, special Ross, Lester Cheese picking bunions on a Sesame Street bus!
  • They're twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.
  • Well, there's something about an aqua Volvo, man. . . .
  • Rudolph, the Red, knows rain, dear.
  • But actually mah hammered alley is really cashew's clay. (You may have to think about that one...)
  • There's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

On that same site listed above, I found a page of limericks. This one made me chuckle:
A swimmer whose clothing got strewed
by breezes that left her quite nude
saw a man come along,
and unless we are wrong,
you expected this line to be lewd.

On TV the other day, I saw yet another one of those "our toilet paper is softer, so you can use fewer sheets" commercials. Look, I don't care how "soft" or how "thick" anyone's TP is, I am going to use the same number of sheets that I usually use. In the commercial, the little bear tears off like 3 sheets for his cub. Okay, I can't even get my hands around 3 sheets, and sure in the heck ain't going anywhere else on my body with 3! After some experimentation (yes, these are the kinds of things that run through my brain), I have concluded that 8 is a nice even number. Provides the -er, uh- coverage i need for my hands while still accomplishing the task. So, there you go, more information than you ever wanted to know, but I bet now you'll at least think about it once next time you have to decide just how many sheets you need... :-)

While getting my oil changed today, CNN or whatever news channel was on had a story about teens using Viagra. Why on Earth would TEENS need to use the magic blue pill?? It turns out, they use it because they think it 'enhances' their performance with their girlfriends. They are also taking it to counteract the performance side-effects of other drugs like Ecstasy. Of course, teens don't care about cause and effect, but it turns out that in teens, the blue pill can cause serious drop in blood pressure, which may prove fatal... When you're a teen, dying in that manner, in that position if you will, may seem like the ultimate way to go, but when you're a teen, there is no "good" way to die... I realize there are most likely no teens reading my ramblings, but it struck me as odd that kids would take Viagra...

The broken record continues - Our Sharepoint server suffered a hardware issue and also whatever software issues we are having with the thing. Marilyn spent ALL DAY on th ephone with Microsoft and for all I know at 7:00 tonight, she may still be there. It has become just a tad more than a bit ridiculous....

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