I did not watch Sanjaya on Letterman last night, but I did see part of the clip where he did his "Top 10 Things I Learned from American Idol.." Here ya go:
10. The camera adds ten pounds to your Mohawk.
9. Work hard and make sacrifices, you can finish in 7th place.
8. It’s very important to “Keep it real, dawg.”
7. I should have gone for the immunity idol – oh, wait that’s “Survivor.”
6. On-camera Simon is a bit nasty, but off-camera, he’s a total jerk.
5. Voting for yourself 100 times an hour causes some wicked carpal tunnel.
4. When you forget the words, just do this “wo ho ho, yes he did.”
3. Honestly, I though I was auditioning for “Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?”
1. American loves performers with bad hair--right, Dave?
Tyler's team lost their ballgame tonight...big time... Tyler did well, though - got a hit and was walked. One boy on the other team hit a home run - out of the friggin park by about a mile.... And, Cole (on Tyler's team) got hit with the ball...again... You see, poor Cole has been hit in EVERY game and at nearly EVERY practice (yes, even by the coaches). There is some baseball-pulling magnetism he has that makes the ball, for no obvious or apparent reason, suddenly jump, curve, bounce, sink, float, or otherwise smack the poor boy. Tonight was the worst - he fouled the ball off the bat and straight up into his face... It was bad, and for a while, we weren't sure he was going to get up off the ground....
Let's talk "Idol," shall we? Chris was off-key, out of tune, sometimes out of sync, and that all adds up to the judges loving his performance. I must be getting old... Melinda did great with her song and performance, as did Blake. I am not a Beatles fan, nor do I give a rat's rear about anything connected with the Beatles. So, for Blake to pick 'Imagine,' I prepared myself for a Lennon 'tribute' song. Wrong! It was done very, very well. Lakisha....well... she's slipping... I don't know what it is, but she just seems to have lost the raw power she once had. I hope she finds it again before it's too late... Phil kicked serious butt with his rendition of "The Change." i do agree with Simon, though - Phil should have done a much 'countr-ier' version. After Phil's great country week, you'd think he would learn... Hopefully, he'll be around to get it right next time. Jordin? Well, I had no idea the song she picked was 60 years old. I agree 100% with Simon - Jordin could release that song today and have a mega-hit on her hands (in fact, I hope she gets to!).
This week's chart looks like this:
Denny Crane got himself in some trouble because he told an 'African-American' that he did not 'sound black.' What is so wrong with saying that? Look, if you were to hear me talk right now, you'd say to me, "You don't SOUND like a Pittsburgher." In fact, you'd probably say, "You sound country (or southern, or on really rough days, even 'hick'). Right now, you are sitting there, and I would bet (assuming you are being HONEST about it), you have a pretty good idea as to what my voice might sound like, just based on what I just told you. If I said that you sounded "New York," you know what that sounds like. Same with "Hispanic" or "Asian" or "Black." Heck, I could even say you sound "like a white guy" and you would know what I meant! What is wrong with that? I liked Allen's comment that "urban" would be more offensive than to say 'black' or 'African-American.' The first thing a lot of people want to do is jump to the 'negative connotations' of the phrases I've used here. Why? Is there something wrong with 'sounding black?' When my phone rings, I can tell if the person on the other end is black or Indian/Arab or Asian. There is no prejudice about it. If a person speaks with certain words in a certain manner, my experience tells me that person is most likely black or whatever. Does that affect me? No. If I am not interested in buying your newspaper, it is because I do not WANT the newspaper - I don't care if the person is white, black, red, yellow, or green.
I know that one argument is, "You can't always tell the person's race just by their voice!" Of course not. Plus, I can make myself sound like a different race or type of person just by changing my style or vocal patterns... So what? Like I said, I don't care if the person I am talking to is red, white, blue, green, whatever... If you 'sound black' to me, then you SOUND BLACK to me. So what? Who cares. I sound like a white southerner to most folks, yes I grew up in Pittsburgh. And, when we have visited, Shan says I 'get my accent' back before too long. Does that offend me that she calls me a 'Pittsburgher?' No. Why should it? Does that term imply something about me? I'm a steel-worker or something? No...
On a slightly different note....
As long as people continue to cry and whine and moan about what people say, and what they "THINK" the speaker "meant" by what they said, we will never get over the racial divide in this country. Nearly everyone looks differently (except for identical twins, who do tend to look the same, thus the term....). Nearly everyone talks differently. Generalizations can be made based on the vocal qualities of people. Whoop-di-doo... Get over it.
Until we do away with racially-based groups, race will always be an issue. The people who yell the loudest about racial inequality tend to be the same people that make darn sure that racial DISharmony continues... We now have Miss Black America, Miss Latino America, etc etc... Yet, those races are free to participate in the Miss (no race specified) America pageant. I understand why those organizations (and others, such as NAACP) were created. At one time, they were needed. But the very people those groups were meant to bring equality to are the same people who are keeping race separate by continuing to foster the resentment and hatred the organizations were formed to abolish. Want to solve the race problem? Do away with Miss (insert race here) America contests. Do away with the National Association for the Advancement of (insert race here) People.