Monday, October 16, 2006

20 Ounce Life-saver and Going to School

First of all, I just have to say this..... HO-LY COW!! The Steelers were awesome! I still stand behind my thought that Batch should have been played, given Ben's record as of late, but then again, I'm not the one pulling down a bazillion G's to be the coach, am I? Awesome Steelers!! :-)

20 Ounces.... That's 1.25 pounds, right? Can you imagine a 1.25-pound Life Saver candy? No, no, that's not what I'm talking about. I am also not talking about any kind of 20-ounce alcoholic beverage... Here, I am talking about a bottle of water I stole from our Y2K stash... Okay, first of all, to answer your questions: YES, we had a Y2K stash, just in case... YES, we still have items in our Y2K stash... And, yes, I stole a bottle of water from the Y2K stash...

You see, the pump was acting up on the well, so we weren't getting any water this morning (Monday). Being the resourceful person that I am, after I turned the shower off, I went back to bed. Seriously. Why stay up if I can't get a shower and I could sleep for another 30 mintues? Later, after I had been up for a while, it dawned on me that I could use a bottle of water to at least wet my head so I could comb my hair... I told Shan that I hadn't realized just how much hair I've lost until I was able to wash my hair with a 20-ounce bottle of water..... I'm just sayin.... 20 friggin ounces... I used to use more than that in mousse and gel for cryin out loud (Yes, a child of the 80's)...

Emily wanted to play school tonight, so after "Deal or No Deal," we played. She is always Mrs. Strawberry Shortcake. I told Emily my name was John... John Jacob, to be exact... Well, really, it was John Jacob Jingleheimerschmidt. I pointed to Shan and said, "her name is my name, too..." Emily picked up her play phone and called my mother. I was in trouble. During class, I tried to tell Emily about all the goings-on in town... "Do you know Jimmy?" I asked. She tilted her head to one side and rolled her eyes at me. I continued, "Well, he cracked corn... And well, really, I don't care." Emily, er uh, Mrs. Shortcake, sighed. Shan nearly peed her pants... :-) Mrs. Shortcake called my mother. I tried to redeem myself... "Do you know Jack? Jack Sprat? He can't eat any fat... And his wife? Well, she can eat no lean! When they go out to eat, the two of them can lick the whole plate clean!" (Yes, I changed the words... Can you imagine what the word 'betwixt' would do to a 4-year old? I'm telling you, she'd be asking for the candy! (think about it).)

Mrs. Shortcake was having none of it... I continued, of course... "You know, Jerimiah was a bullfrog... (I paused for dramatic effect) He was a good friend of mine." Shortcake called my mother. I tried to explain to Mrs. Shortcake that, "my mother was a very poor woman... She was an old woman, who lived in a shoe... She had so many of us children, she didn't know what to do!" Mrs. Shortcake yelled, "Stop it!" I replied, "My mother's name is Hubbard... Old Mother Hubbard... She went to the cupboard, but the cupboard was bare..." At this point, Mrs. Shortcake invoked her right to use corporal punishment... And Daddy invoked his right to address Emily Grace! :-) I just talked to her, don't get me wrong! All in all, it was quite entertaining... Of course, I realize now I left out the parts where Shan was poking me with the umbrella, giving herself all A+'s, and generally being the Teacher's Pet... Oh, and somewhere in there, Mary had brought her little lamb to school... :-)

No comments:

Post a Comment