Monday, March 28, 2011

Stuff my Dad said

These little gems may not earn me a television show or a massive following on Twitter, but I was thinking about some of the things my Dad would tell us kids, and thought I'd share some (the ones I could remember):
  • Don't spit in the ocean
  • Don't pee in the wind (or the pool)
  • Don't take any wooden nickels
  • You can't (edited) do Number One and Number Two at the same time
  • Don't sneeze with your eyes open
  • If you fall out of the tree and break your legs, don't come running to me
  • Princess Bride is the dumbest movie
  • You kids ride your Green Machines up and down the exit ramp while I try to flag down some help (that "help" turned out to be the State Police)
  • Stop your crying or I'll give you something to cry about
  • This is gonna hurt me more than... no, it won't.
  • What the (blankety-blank) are you two (blanety-blank) kids doing up/down/over there!?
  • If you two are going to horse around, then go outside and do it
  • This will only take fifteen minutes to fix/do (then, three hours later.... we're still at it)
  • This will be a shortcut (EIGHT hours later, still not even close to our destination)
  • You can't get there from here
  • You bet (used in any situation - right, wrong, indifferent)
  • They (ticked) me off, so I quit.
  • Keep your mouth shut, Henderson (talking to/about himself)
  • Vos Los Tibby Hubbin? (That's the best "translation" I can do.  I have no idea what it meant, but when he said it, it meant he wanted you to repeat yourself)
  • I deleted a bunch of files that looked suspicious (turned out they were vital DLL files in his Windows directory)
  • Hey, look what I found (talking about add-ons for games like FIFA, MADDEN, NHL Hockey, etc that made the games more "realistic")
  • Coke Is It! (Thanks, Nik!)
  • Detroit!? Who Cares! (I think this had something to do with a football slogan or something, but it became his saying for anything that would normally warrant a "who cares" response)
 Those are the ones I can think of right now. I'm sure my family will have others they'd like to add...

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